no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
