Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
