Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize