Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize