She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
