We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
it's like iHOP with fire
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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