we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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