if i can run in heels then i can drive
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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