I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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