Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
