Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
