Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
