is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
