I wish I could punch you in the face.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
