It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
