she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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