Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
