Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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