I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
