They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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