Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
farters have to be the big spoon...
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize