i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
