i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
