Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
