You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
