When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize
