So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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