Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
