does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
one two three fourrrrnication!
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
