you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
