3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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