i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
