I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
