Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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