i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize