is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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