dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
