1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
