I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
