Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
