Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Randomize