i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
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