What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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