we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
