How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
