DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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