i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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