drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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