I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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