4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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