what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
