Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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