It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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