Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
