Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
