I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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