yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
