I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
