Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
