i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She's like a pop up book from hell.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
God I need to hump something, right now.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
