If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
