ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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