Rock
Scissors
Fuck
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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