if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
