I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
