Say something about gay babies.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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