Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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