is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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