We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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