I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
