1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Randomize
