Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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