Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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