Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
