Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize