Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
