I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize