We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
