So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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