Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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