that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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